I want to go back

How do I go back to being emotionally dead inside? I thought it was healthier to feel things, but now I can't get control of my emotions. My first minor heart break in I don't even know how long and I can't move past it. The rational part of me knows it was for the best, but the rest of me cries constantly, has overwhelming feelings of self-doubt, and is in a full on depression right now. I hate the way I feel right now because I know it isn't warranted, but its like someone poked a hole in a dam. One little thing has sent years of suppressed feelings rushing out at such a rapid pace that I'm completely overwhelmed. I don't know what to do about it either.