Stupid decisions

Sometimes I make really fucking stupid decisions. I'm not talking about moving here. I think that was the right decision. I feel an overwhelming sense of lonliness that will definitely pass. I'm not worried about that. I'm worried about stupid things that I do without thinking them all the way through. It's been a long time since I've felt such an overwhelming sense of regret about something. I'm not going to elaborate, but its definitely something that needs to be worked out in my head. Why would I do things if I know they're unhealthy?

Things are going in a very positive direction for me and I am trying very hard to focus on that. I am in a huge period of transition right now and there are parts of me that I am becoming more aware of, more comfortable with. Its just weird how uncomfortable change can be. Its weird the way you react to certain things. I really wish I could elaborate, but I'm not going to. I realize this is a very confusing thing for most people to read, but I understand and its my blog so I guess what I'm saying is I don't care who understands it and who doesn't.

I just know that I need to keep things in check so I don't feel like this again. The problem is I don't think I'll ever figure out what motivates me to act like a stupid girl except for the fact that I was born a girl and we are inherently stupid. This isn't a matter of emotions. Not the kind you might be thinking of. This is just a matter of really not thinking clearly. Something I need to do because of the direction my life is heading.

Good lord. Cryptic as hell. This will be so mis interpereted. I was probably better off not typing a damn thing to begin with.