I Used To

I think about all the stuff I used to do...and be relatively good at. Here's the long list:

I used to:
Play soccer
Play volleyball
Run track
Play basketball
Play tennis
Sing in a choir
Act in plays & musicals
Write
Draw
Play instruments
Dance

I do none of that now. I stopped in high school when I went somewhere that only offered sports. Creative outlets were taken away and I've never recovered from it. I miss all of it. I turned to drugs and alcohol and I can't seem to find a hobby that doesn't focus on those things. I really miss being able to sing. I used to have a voice and I'm not sure what happened to it. I miss acting, I miss dancing and I miss being in shape. I don't really know where to start to get some of this back, but I'm done with roller derby so maybe one of these things will fill that void.

I start school tomorrow. Not where I wanted to go but maybe next semester I can make it happen. I'm taking an art course more for my sanity than anything.

I'm really stressed out and it needs to stop soon. I need to get off the couch and make shit happen. I've had a few things happen lately that have really upset me and I need to deal with all of it and move on with my life.

I need to change some things and hold on tight to others.
Wish me luck.